Today is the first day...

Today was the first day of my latest attempt/journey to lose weight.  I could list all the reasons why but why? Does it matter? Well I guess it could if they were unhealthy reasons but they're not.  I have my wedding in less than 11 months, I am overweight, unhealthy and overall not happy with the way that I feel and look.  That about sums it up.  Let me clarify before I continue that I love myself as I am but I know that I can be better and nothing I attempt will be successful unless I accept myself for who I am now.

I earlier said that this was my latest attempt to lose weight...I've fought this battle with myself for as long as I can remember.  But things started to go really down hill in 2005.  Before 2005 I still thought that I needed to lose weight but I should have been satisfied with where I was.  I was healthier than I am now.  In 2005 I started a new job and I became a lot less active.  Ever since then it has been a rollercoaster of diets and attempts to regain the body and confidence I had.

Confidence...oh how I miss my confidence.  People may hear me say "oh I don't wear this or that because I don't look good in it" but I don't say it because I want to have people say "no you look fine" or "don't say that, you're beautiful."  I say it because I am being honest; thats how I really feel.

I have a fiancee who loves me and doesn't care how much I weight which is wonderful.  He thinks I am beautiful regardless.  He is incrediably supportative and helps me in whatever way he can.  I also have wonderful friends who love me the way I am and are very supportive as well but I know that people can only hear so many times that you're going to do something and not follow through.  Not without trying of course but in the past I have tried and said I am going to stick to working out or doing this or that but it never continues.  So instead of continuing to disappoint I've stopped talking about it and I'm doing this instead.  I need to be held accountable but I need to hold myself accountable.  I can't continue to rely on others for the accountability.

So here it goes my latest and hopefully my successful attempt.  This time I also have the advice of a nutritionist who has corrected some of my eating habits.  One being that I don't eat enough or often enough, I know funny right?  Also giving the ideas for the right things to eat.

Today I followed her schedule and ate things she suggested, so today was a success.  Thats the best way to look at it right? One day at time...and my plan is to talk about my progress, good and bad, here.

Until tomorrow...goodnight and remember to love yourself...